The Seige within!!!!

The seige within aptly describes my state of mind at this point of time....yes since the day i felt myself mature enough to handle the famed ways of the world i had one complain against myself...i succumb to the lure of temptations very easily......i dont have the the virtue of self control over my senses........everything has a purpose, its on us to find it....there is nothin like starting self control or stopping my desires to inveigle me to do something,,,,, its about doing ,doing and nothing else..but as they say sometimes you have to loose your mind to come into senses ...i thought to exorcise the demons inside me......what i am doing right now is something very akin to loosing my minds...

i am trying to question the three basic rules of life paradox ,humour and change....i think the biggest paradox in the life is the life itself....needless to say its a mystery in itself...but i have realised that no purpose is served in unravelling the mystery ..rather be content with the present state of thing...did i hear someone say "ignorance is a bliss"..truly it is in this case...earlier i had this wistful longing to see my future in a crystal gaze which at this moment looks very frivolous to me...i wanted to see which way my relationship with people heading to???what are the implications of forging new relationships on me and my near and dear ones....but now i dont mull over these things at all..i have resigned myself to my fate.....something which is destined will happen come what may.......
the second rule of life according to me is humour ....i am a firm believer in the notion that humour is something which gives you a kind of strength beyond measures......it has helped me to tide over all kinds of crisis which i had been beset with at different crossroads of my life.....a person without humour is like a wagon without springs ,it is jolted by every pebble on its way.....
so essentially the kind of humour i like is something which makes me laugh for 5 sec but forces me to think for 10 min......three cheers for humour......

thirdly another of the most important cardinal tenet of life is change.....knowing that nothing will remain the same forever is the one thing which makes me awake all the time .... i dont want myself to be the product of environment..i want environment to be a product of my actions....my actions of change........the first step i guess should not be to give up what i love ,but to find love in whatever i do.....lets see whether i am able to change my life from the despair of winter to a spring of hope........

comments awaited!!!!!!!!!!