the second sex!!!!!

Ahh the title itself wud have drawn the ire of feminists....second sex!!!!why second???we are the ones who are the progenitors of entire male species..we are the reason of ur existence, still we have been meted out such a chauvinistic treatment by a nondescript writer like you whose credentials are not even trust worthy!!!!...inspite of this leap of faith whr now we are considered at par wid our counterparts how dare u address us like dis????
whoa......questions hitting me like a bucket of water!!!!!!First there's the shock of it... -BAM!... -right in the face. I'm writing there drenched in anxiety so let me clarify certain things at facevalue before delving any further....first of all what i feel is that we humans have coined up "ists"like "femisnists,sexist,chauvinist,centrist, sadist.."and god knows what nots!!!!! gimme a break guys...dre has to be just one "ist" and dre will be one "ist"called" humanist"...dats the all and end all.....from what experience i had with dis species called girls (yeah it wont be too wise to include women ovr her,so i refrain...)courtsey my various unusual conversations wid my girlfriends and female acquintances....inadvertantly i had nodded my head in disbelief more often than not....lemme surmise what i think about this "hood"called girl...(yeah invariably when it comes to voicing any opinion i donno, out of a blue ,how come such a camraderie is conjured up among dem in no time when they start behaving like not me ,not u..its about "us".......
1)women have this anti-intimacy force field around them. It is powered by sarcasm, humor, and aversion.u try to breach it and blimey u r in for a shock!!!!!i have seen this invariably wid all the girls...it reminds me of what Humphrey Bogart did in that old movie. What was it called? He was like, there are three ways to do things aboard my vessel. The right way, the wrong way and my way. If you do things my way, we'll get along just fine.so as long as u follow their so called code of conduct this anti-intimacy force will repel u for all the obvious reasons...and d moment the cookie crumbles(read u succumb)this anti intimacy force becomes attractive(defying classical physics).....with all arms open....whr whr u whacko!!!!was waiting for u all along!!!!!! Oh, sweet leaping Jesus!!!!and some odr blahs!!!!

2)There are no clearly defined rules between men and women. So, each side thinks they're playing fair and each side thinks they're being cheated. Maybe, this is why men and women have the innate ability to bring out the poison in one another.but one thing i know for sure that the rules of the game are heavily skewed in their favour....like take for a example the game of conversation between the two of dem!!!!!!!
How can a guy have a real conversation with a girl like this when we're made so helpless? In the animal kingdom, when two members of a pack stare at each other, it is a test of dominance. The first one to look away is considered the weaker. When this happens between a man and a woman, the cards are stacked against a man. 'Cause, let's face it, every time a guy meets a girl, he wants to check out her "ohh-sooo-tender-assets". A man must summon all of his will not to look down at those golden orbs, whose wonderous tips are upturned, aimed right at his eyes. Once a man loses his test of nerves, a woman knows she has a great secret power over him, and she can get him do anything she wants. Like a sexual sorceress,her will prevails......poor us..we lost even bfr it started....

3)women have this all pervasive feeling that emotional quotient and responsive stimuli are their
"prerogatives"..as if men cant be emotional,or evn if they have some latent feelings ,how dare you show'em in front of odrs inspite of my mild admonitary glance....dont u dare do it again....
which makes them all the more bossy and domineering which we men strongly protest as in the garb of reservation and empowerment an ulterior motive vests beneath.....to rule the world or did i say consolidate their position as "first sex"

4)i have this gut feeling that women stand for what they say generally.i have across ppl who say something and do something else which makes them slimey hippocrats..but candidly speaking this trait of women makes them all the more adorable.

5)they have this very hedious habbit of referring things from the past..like u said that and now u r saying dis....and the awestrucking part is they remember even the chronology of stmts which we have said and in no time they can reproduce verbatim!!!which kinda p***** boys as it makes our every odr step aimed for redemption look fickle as we had only said that and now we are saying this..cmn gals dre are lotta many things to remember .......these things may sound trifle but in turn it makes u all d more nagging creature ...so,mend ur ways its better late than never..

6)girls are the most patient creature alive on earth..and my thumbs up for that.....i will drive home my point by quoting a very simple example...take for ex shopping....a gals most endearing passtime...but have u ever wondered(hmm lateral thinking)the reason why dey shop for so long ????trying diff shops and purchasing nodin many a times????gocha...the reason is dey are patient enf to look out for various things instead of jumping prematurely to the decison of buying any particular stuff...now compare this vis-a-vis boys and i have no qualms in saying that we are clear losers when it comes to this litmus test of testing patience..we go the shop knowing that what we have to purchase...and then give the look .."see how smart my choice is"....guys really an eye opener....sometimes a vision can be myopic..stop making a jack a** out of urself guys....

7)i have to accept this fact that without girls life would have been very boring,dull and mundane."Flirting "a covetous art wud have died a premature death....as the famous "buddha"once said that beauty is fleeting,so make the most of it..which we boys have followed very loyally in various manifestations like "ogling and staring"...see we are not to be blamed,harmless creatures as we are.....so in essence,acknowledging this fact doesnt makes us feel any inferior as just like what god said to moses upon being asked who u are,"i am what i am"..translating it a tad bit further "we are what we are"...

many more things to say,many more things to write but as i said patience is running off...
bfr i conclude i wud like to write two lines of famous bard of early 20th century "maithilisharan gupta"

"अबला जीवन हाय तुम्हारी यही कहानी,आँचल में दूध और आंखों में पानी "

सौरभ सप्रेम!!!!!!!!



comments invited!!!!

the joy of resignation!!!!!

This sounds weird but totally true...i have started my professional career with resignation....and even thinking about it while writing is giving me a lump in the throat..the way circumstances changes with a blink of an eye has really caught me by surprise.....the sequence of events which unfolded wud give even heisenbergs uncertainity principle a run for d money...but as the cliche goes "all is well that ends well"....so hre i am still alive(in all flesh and blood), kicking and looking forward to my new job......
My brief stay in "philips" was something which i will never forget...rite from the induction programme to the BOOTCAMP seesion(employee training programme)every single moment i spent dre was surreal...it speaks in volumes about the kind of phenomenal work culture which they have developed in due course of time at philips....somethings i will never forget about philips and which i find worth mentioning....
1)its flamboyant CEO ,a dutch guy,whose sublime personality,infectious energy and twinkle in the eyes will put many a youths to shame.....his commitment to work,his presence of mind and above all his sagacity really impressed me.
2)the sprawling PHILIPS INNOVATION CAMPUS ,whose vastness and design ,was in all sense insanely good...right from the fish aquarium in the sanctum of the campus to the super soooper big philips TVS placed hre and dre,everything was so planned that it seemed as if u have eneterd a small universe in itself...
3)the friends which i made dre during this brief stay....we did almost every possible thing in just 10 days togedr which very few ppl wud have even dreamt off.....we played chess near philips NXP(semiconductor division) building which was supposedly a showcase kinda thing and which ppl vre not supposed to tuch...to..things as trivial as me and my friends sighing deeply upon seeing any hot chick as dre was not a single worth looking chick in the new joinees pool...
4th)the souveniers which philips gave me(i mean all of us)like cadbury chocolates ..gosh dey have some secret collabration with cadburys i think.(anything happens dre and out of nowwhr appears a bag full of dairy milks....)and a group photo wid alexius(remember the charming ceo)and odr new joinees...
5th)a 2 hr session by one Mr. bhaskaran who was the head of india centre....to be a part of the audience when bhaskaran sir speaks was a dreamcome true for sure....the precious professional mantras which he gave wud go a long way in my career..
6th)last but not the least the "grossly over"makedup" receptionist"..i wunt forget her....as someone who firmly believes that a receptionist at the entrance is a face of the company...i wont say she was not beautiful...but seeing her in d morning after hopping out from the bus,was comical in its own ssubtle way...it seemed that she had just put the entire "vanity case"on her face....or lemme try to delineate her appearence for my readers....check dis one out....
a)base of her face ie the skin used to shine more than the PHILIPS CFL(and incandescent bulbs and tubes)...and that was courtsey the grossly misappropriate amount of "foundation"cream which she applied on her face...
b)i donno what gals call it probably "eyeliner" which godknows in what way she used ..it seemed to the onlooker that the natural facial features like eyebrows and all ceased to exist in her case..
c)thirdly and most importanly her evr-shrinking-dress-size was enf to raise many a brows and corrobarate the mantra which companies endorse in the times of recession called"cloth cutting"ooooopsssss dint i say cost cutting...
d)her high heels which can be exxageratingly compared to the petronas in malaysia.....it wud really give the physics enthusiasts food for thot that how come her ohhsoo slender heels wud bear her body weight........
ahh enf of description.....

so all in all it was a wonderful 10 days at PHILIPS INNOVATION.....anyways for now i m waiting for my next job joining which is supposed to be on july6th..till den its ..
"""""fultoooooooooooooomasti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"""""""""""

sojourn to the great "BONG"land of india.....KOLKATA!!!!!!!

Ahh finally a sense of catharsis prevailed.....after 4 months of needless slogging and doing donkey work at my office the destined day came when i had to catch the flight and leave for kolkata to meet my sis who had come from germany after 1 yr.....it was family gettotogether kinda occasion which had the chutzpah similar to some marriage function....As it happens with all of my trips,me being a bit too overcautious ,i reached the sprawling bangalore airport 4 hrs before the departure,because it was my maiden visit to the "state of art" bangalore airport and the fact that i had heard from the sources that it was 40 kms away from banagalore,forced me to be a tad bit prissy as far as my eagerness to reach dre was concernd..to be precise the moment i reached dre it seemd that my mobile was regurgitating a slew of welcome messages ..Talking about the location of bangalore airport i still cant fathom what was going inside airports authorities mind while building it so near(pun intended) to the city....given an opportunity i m pretty sure they wudnt have hesitated in starting an airservice to ferry people from bangalore to bangalore airport....People wud have to book airtickets to reach bangalore airport and then another ticket for the destination....!!!!!!lols......Amidst all the hustle-bustle and nervous excitement i somehow managed to reach "KOLKATA"..From the moment i sat my foot on the sanctimonius "bong"ground to the point i reached my home sweet home there was so many things which forced me to nod my head in disbelief....


The drama began when we wre ferried from cockpit to subashchandra bose exit terminal by the airservice bus when mobile phones of people around me started ringing.With the modus operandi of anxious relatives being,, to leave no stone unturned in making sure that they got their feelings of anxiety known to the entire world by calling umpteenth times....and the victim in picture ie the passneger(sadly but true!!!!!) swearing the statement again and again "aami ekhhun dhukchi aar tomi asbo na" (pleading not to come to airport to chaperoon them back to home),,everything looked so comical,that i was not able to prevent my sheepish smile..

Talking about kolkata,the first thing which stroke me was the overwhelming mass of people.milling,teeming,jostling,thronging,pushing,shoving and myriad of other preternatural human activities....other places in the world are crowded too but then people dre are engaged in some purposive activity but here hawking,spitting,peeing,crapping,digging their noses.hanging about without any goal..people not as human projects but as primal anatomy.....
but again at the back of my mind ,like a reverie thoughts wre overwhelming me at a prodigious rate...what is that which separates kolkata from the rest of india????was it the scent of parched earth drenched by monsoon showers or was it the accomodative jostle and bustle of the kolkata bazaar,with its myriad hues and tastes,sounds and smells ..while all these and a million other perceptions ,do make my impression of coming to kolkata ,what caught my attention was the "perennial scowling face which every bong made upon seeing u"???kee rey.......??????

nevertheless the excitement had just begun........
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

got LAID!!!!!!!!!

Without an iota of doubt i am damn sure that your stretch of imagination would have crossed all barriers and you would have surmised(even though prematurely)that the "LAID" in this context would have been something sinister.....aahh....pity on you or on me .....donno....yes my friends i got laid....off....(did i say laid off?????)

this reminds me of the epic mahabharata when the great yudhishtira upon coaxing by srikrishna said (((, "Yes, Ashwathama is dead"; but added in whisper, "I do not know whether he is a man or an elephant.")))to dampen the spirits of kaurvas and specifically dronacharya...the fact of matter being that Ashwathama who was killed was an elephant in the pandavas side.....so his announcement was enough to set the cat among the pigeons in the kaurava camp..... getting laid is something very similar in context to what yudhisthir said with the notable differences being
1st)i am the speaker( a blue collar professional who is knocking at the doorsteps of history and who wants his article to be rememebered as an adjective defying masterpiece or rather be engraved on his epitaph)
2nd)got laid here alludes to the fact of being shown the pink slip in the times of financial panic or lemme rechristen it as the great depression II and not what you fickle minded people had thought...(my apologies for the condescending reference)
3rd)this is supposed to set the cat among pigeons on the targeted audience called "my company "so that they found some semblance of anguish,pain and suffering which any employee like me would suffer upon being laid off.......and amidst all this alleged hullabulaoo(ya i am hoping it to have such pronounced repurcussion) get me my job back.......

legend has it tough times never last but tough people do......my grief cloaked in humour is a testimony of my strength(read tuoghness)beyond measures......i hope there are some serious takers who understand the plight of poor blokes like me who have to go through such a traumatic phase in life wherein inspite of giving your total commitment you are rewarded with misfortune and rejection.......in this time of monumental grief i would just like to share my empathies with all the people sharing my fate....may god give all of us the courage ,fortitude and tenacity to tide over this crisis....
amen!!!!!!!!

The Seige within!!!!

The seige within aptly describes my state of mind at this point of time....yes since the day i felt myself mature enough to handle the famed ways of the world i had one complain against myself...i succumb to the lure of temptations very easily......i dont have the the virtue of self control over my senses........everything has a purpose, its on us to find it....there is nothin like starting self control or stopping my desires to inveigle me to do something,,,,, its about doing ,doing and nothing else..but as they say sometimes you have to loose your mind to come into senses ...i thought to exorcise the demons inside me......what i am doing right now is something very akin to loosing my minds...

i am trying to question the three basic rules of life paradox ,humour and change....i think the biggest paradox in the life is the life itself....needless to say its a mystery in itself...but i have realised that no purpose is served in unravelling the mystery ..rather be content with the present state of thing...did i hear someone say "ignorance is a bliss"..truly it is in this case...earlier i had this wistful longing to see my future in a crystal gaze which at this moment looks very frivolous to me...i wanted to see which way my relationship with people heading to???what are the implications of forging new relationships on me and my near and dear ones....but now i dont mull over these things at all..i have resigned myself to my fate.....something which is destined will happen come what may.......
the second rule of life according to me is humour ....i am a firm believer in the notion that humour is something which gives you a kind of strength beyond measures......it has helped me to tide over all kinds of crisis which i had been beset with at different crossroads of my life.....a person without humour is like a wagon without springs ,it is jolted by every pebble on its way.....
so essentially the kind of humour i like is something which makes me laugh for 5 sec but forces me to think for 10 min......three cheers for humour......

thirdly another of the most important cardinal tenet of life is change.....knowing that nothing will remain the same forever is the one thing which makes me awake all the time .... i dont want myself to be the product of environment..i want environment to be a product of my actions....my actions of change........the first step i guess should not be to give up what i love ,but to find love in whatever i do.....lets see whether i am able to change my life from the despair of winter to a spring of hope........

comments awaited!!!!!!!!!!

the zealous observer!!!!!

hmmm.........Some of you smart fellas must have noticed the irony which i have tried to highlight.....some of you must be scratching your head to understand the irony....let me make things easy for you.The irony which i hav tried to highlight is how can an observer be zealous????Aren't they supposed to be silent,observing you like an artist devoted to painting.???...just to purge your mind from this misconception i am penning down this article.....From quite some time i was thinking, to give myself the epithet of "the OBSERVER" precisely because of the fact that i have realised off late that i like observing people,the way they present themselves ,the way they communicate,their body language et al.....some of you might be surprised that in this fast paced world where people dont find time for themselves how can someone afford to observe others and get influenced by them.....but then everyone cant be the same...
I am not one of those breeds who believe that sitting in the cosy ambiences of your room and by just merely reading you become an experienced fellow...i am one of those effusive and demonstrative kinda guy who likes to communicate with people,who believes that being introvert is the trait of a coward and who likes to make the people around him relish his company....but then again the q "is it easier said then done???" Am i trully like that???Do i project myself in front of others in the way which i want them to feel about me????I have seen a paradigm shift in myself as a person in these last 2 months.....I used to be one of those person who was like "the grumpy and the grouchy kinds"who used to complain to god for anything which was denied to him...There is a sudden realisation of the"power of positive thinking"which has dawned on me.....i have started looking at life in a different way..i have met some real good people who unknowingly have suggested the lacuna in my personality par se...and to reform myself as a person has now become one of the guiding principles of my life....now the moot question is how do you relate my "observation" with meeting people???....i would just say that unlike other people who are busy caring about themselves(to the extent of narcissism)i take trouble in doing some introspection..talking about introspection,which has caught my fascination from quite some time i have just figured out that every person has some uniqueness in his personality which should be appreciated......it can be something very mundane but the point is sometimes the mundane also goes unnoticed.....

take the example of my roommate, whom i asked once "yaar tujhe gussa kyun nahi aata"???
he said "yaar jab tak mai dekh leta hun ki wo bearable hai, aur, jaroori nahi hai to mai gussa nahi hota...aur waisey bhi kisi sey jhagad key kya faayda ..kaun sa tumhey 1000 saal jeena hai jo sabkey against dushmani rakho....chota sa life span hai...kuch accha to nahi kar paaye buura kyun karein"..
it was an eye opener for me as i have this habbit of getting piqued at people occasionally which manifests into a cold war(at times).....and then subsequently results in severing of ties...i have lost many a good friends of mine because of my this habbit.....nonetheless i took stock of the situation and mended my ways....now you must be wondering that where was this insight for the past 20 yrs ...did i become an observer all of a sudden.?????...
no it was the maturity which was missing...it wasnt the ability to observe the rules of game called "life" (which everyone knows but still like an ostrich who digs his head in the sand upon seeing a prying enemy pretending as if it hadnt seen the enemy) but it was the failure on my part to just simply observe and let the positive thing to go away...i have discoverd the art of introspection which when coupled with observation makes a lethal combo(pun intended) ...now i am not at all passing a sweeping statement that i have become mature overnight..what i am saying is that with each passing day i am striving to become a good,mature individual....and to faciliate this cause i am having a tryst with my observation skills which has promised me that with each passing day it will help me in becoming a better person..........
amen!!!!!!!!!!!

changing shades!!!!!

Some of you might be surprised that a writer like me who has a penchant for writing flowery english is toning down his way of writing....yes people i have succcumbed to the relentless pressure besetting on me from all quarters,and finally i am contemplating in writing in simple english which the populace can relate to.........As a writer i have tried all the time to give my readers something which they can cherish,something which they can share with their friends,something which leaves them wondering even when they are not reading my blog,something which makes them realise that humour is the panacea for all the problems of the world......i dont know how far i have succeded but what i know is that i have been very committed and honest to my writing and i want that people should know this and for that eloquent language should not be a deterrent....
Some of you might be wondering that why all of a sudden i got this "antaratma ki pukkar"!!!people its just that i asked for my readers opinion and surmised(cmn guys jack up your vocabs) that many a times people have to use a dictionary to understand what i write which inturn mitigates their interest,which a tyro writer like me would never ask for....In this small sojourn into the world of writing i have seen almost everything ....from being lapped up by everyone for my writing skills to being at the receiving end of plaigiarism charges......So in a nutshell what i can say is that this conservative world cant bear iconoclasts..........People like those who are like them.....they dont want to take the trouble to raise themselves...i am no crusader and so it pains me and therefore its time, i give my critiques something to cogitate and let them know that even i can write simple english........but i expect my readers(critiques as well) to be tad bit patient,as this transition wont be abrupt,it will be gradual.....
jus THREE words left to say WAIT AND WATCH!!!!!

the Art of wasting time...

since the day, i acquired the wisdom to discern between right and wrong i was excessively eager to write an article on the "great indian art of wasting time"and now it seems the opportune time has come...i am writing this article at the grave risk of being pumelled into opprobrium by a clique of people(read teenagers)for making this all "pervasive trait" overt, from covert......but that wont deter me from throwing light and enlightening people with my views....being a virtuoso practitioner of this art(of wasting time)myself, which takes a lot of sacrifice,perseverance and self abnegation ,i deem myself to be perfectly suitable for exemplifying my viewpoint.....

right from the time when first rays of sun illumine mother earth,inadvertantly i get myself drawn into this sanctimonius art ,akin to a devotee immersed in worshipping god.........
it begins with me, repeatedly setting the snooze button of my alarm zillion times,juxtaposed with my latent yearnings to the alarm clock to stopwailing in my comatose(yeah morning sleep is like that only)....thus begins my day...now the question that would have definitely crossed the naysayers mind "who on earth can waste the extremely precious morning hours of the day like this???"easy, easy people.......its only "you"who had once said that we should start our day on a happy note and find our happiness in the subtle happenings and occurences around us and its only you who are now behaving like some phoney prophets who dont stick to what they say.........

as the day progresses and i reach my office ,i leave no stone unturned in practising this art into an alltogether unimaginable heights....it starts with me 'orkutiing and chatting on messanger "instead of devoting it to my work.....it manifests further in the form of fooling around here and there with the sole intention of passing time....and did i missed making umpteen trips to cafeteria
..well a totally royal way of wasting time as it seems that with a coffee in your hand i guess there cant be any perfect alibi........with the countenances and subtle expressions in your face inadvertantly projecting that you are serving some higher purpose......

now as it happens there is something called as "Mr.conscience"who exists inside every person on earth...and who like a true moral police keeps a check on what we do and what we shudnt do.....but then after sufficient practise .....(omg..i m letting the cat out of the bag)you gain amazing control over your conscience and even if it says your heading the wrong way...u should have worked for some time????or academically speaking you should have completed this chapter from that book????you tend to overpower it......again i am telling you it cant be perfected in short time....you have to be patient enough at the start ...slowly you conquer it and voila..... you waste time with immaculate expertise..(at the risk of sounding tautological).......

now for all of those who have jumped(prematurely) to the conclusion that i am feeling guilty about it..gimme a break guys ......i dont believe when some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years. So guys and gals live life they way you want....dont let these cliches on "time" be the guiding force of your life....invent some newones for the coming generation ...lets take the pledge together that we should be the harbingers of this era wherein "wasting time" will be considered a cardinal virtue!!!!amen.........

scene 6: demurrings of an internee contd..........

pradeep and tulika chatting......nikhil enters....
"hey guys....how are u??long time no news ...."said nikhil
"nahi yaar....nodin like dat........the monumental workload is killing both me and tulika..rite tulika??"
"rite pradeep....we have this product release round the corner......so everyone in my team is toiling day in and nite out.........so u can understand the pressure ......"
"cheerio guys........dont sound so morose......people find time for fun in this hectic schedule only.......its just that u have to manage things ........dont you feel so???"exclaimed nikhil
"yeah nikhil.....true.....aa...awo...got a call from mentor.....u guys carry on ..bye folks"and pradeep left..
"so what next,dude????"asked nikhil.....
forgot to tell this thing that nikhil called tulika dude..as her manners,tastes and gestures were all symbolic of a tomboyish girl for which nikhil had silent admirations.........she liked life in the fast lane ,checked out girls instead of guys(ya weird becoz her cardinal rule of checking said that girls have beauty that is worth oogling at which guys dont have......huh.......as if guys looked only for beauty...)and with her "punk -spunk"she wud shut you up........
"yeah we can do one thing ...i have not seen the office building totally......lets freak out and see our office building ..i have heard that 3rd floor gymnasium is one of those state-of-art kinda thing.......lets check it out...what say????"asked tulika..
"sure....anything for you madame"
they both left........
"hey whats that over their??"
"ohhdat.....that is midnight room....meant for those who wanted to catch a nap during the working hours...."
"cool..na ....lets go and see inside"said tulika...
"omg...its dark out here........."
"yeah tuli....it is supposed to be dark..after all its midnight room........"said nikhil,pulling tulikas leg..
for all the curious ones midnight room was more like a fivestar suite than an ordinary room with all the facilities like an air conditioner ,a hot jaccuzi bathtub just at a stones throw from the sanctum of the room....with a quilt as smug as mothers lap and a bed cushy enough to soften the unsoothed souls(read employees)who came for its genteel company......

"hmm...i know....i know..........its really surreal to find such a phenomenal place in our office ..."
"yeah totally....goodness gracious....they had atleast this modicum of aesthetic sense..........."
"hey easy tuli..........oops.........@#$%#!!@!@.."


all of a sudden tuli was in his(nikhils) arms......with her torso totally careened at an angle closer to nikhils body and with her soft bosom pressing nikhils chest....gosh...it was freaking romantic......it seemed as if they would be carried away in this moment of passion....but like a martinet having strict control over his soldiers,tulika had firm control over her senses and she took control of the embarrasing situation......she got up and left the midnight room immediately even without looking into nikhils eyes.......
nikhil totally stupified,petrified,mortified and terrified also stood up , his mind deluged with gamut of emotions, cudnt understand what to do next........followed suit and went to his cubicle..........

me and society!!!!!!....

another bromide gospel describing an individual vis-a-vis society....no ,absolutely not.....am penning it down..lets see which way it heads....individuals constitute the society and thus are a very integral cog of the great wheel called "society"....so the question which flashes at my mental plate all at once is which society are we talking about????
Is it the one with which we orient ourselves when we have to say criticize someone or for that matter bad-mouth about someone at his back.???.or Is it the complete antithetical one with which we celebrate our happiness, our personal success or any tangible achievement in our life.....????.or is it the one with whom we compete all the time to establish ourselves as a known face in the crowd ????or is it the people who i feel am responsible and ofcourse answerable to conscientiously???
questions galore !!!!upon intense cogitation, the moot point which comes out is, we have this adumbrate of societal framework which varies from person to person ...and trust me from time to time..(smart ones should have guessed by now).....and thus for me my society is without any tinge of doubt the last one.......this is for me my society.....sounds a bit selfish???yeah ,indeed...but i am not one of those mother teresa kinds who can serve and bring change in the society without expecting anything in return...to corroborate my point lets first get into the etymology of the word society which had its roots in the latin word "societas" which means friendly association with others.....now since i cant have friendly association with all and sundry my society starts with people i know,people who care for me and people for whom i care....

ergo,the other zillion dollar question which deserves to be elucidated is what contribution you have made to society or if i rephrase it what changes i have made to society????
to begin with the two most important person in my life are my mom and dad ....with every passing day i am striving to be a good son which i was not when i was a teen....jus like any other teen,a rebelllious adrenalin rush would always overshadow my sense of reason ,my sense of what is right and what is wrong..(at the risk of sounding tautological)...now this realisation has creeped into me around 4 years ago when i for the first time left my home for by graduate school.....at the onset of my sophomore years this feeling of guilt was killing me until i tried to change myself albeit in small steps......so if through this effort of mine i am getting a smile in their face,a sense of pride for their son..than ya thats my contribution in changing a society and for all those who after reading this blog feel the same than go for it guys its never too late.......
secondly i am one of those kinds who likes motivating people....it comes naturally to me....i cant tolerate a good friend of mine wasting away his life or his\her precious time.....and therefore i cant resist this urge in me to help and motivate them to do something better..as someone has famously said "one who wastes an hour doesnot knows the value of life"...it so happened that one of my friend caught this vice(at the risk of ruffling some feathers) of smoking which he considered cool sadly..i tried tooth and nail to prevent him from getting used to it, on the simple premise that it ultimately harms your body only....and to my utter delight and because of my constant nagging(ya sad but true) he left it and is now seemingly a healthy man..........so these are some of the changes i have brought in my society.....wat about "YOU"?????????
grab it ,dont wait for it!!!!!!
GROANS AWAITED..................

scene 5 of my story continued........demurrings of an internee....

"hey tulika.hi long time no see..howss u??"said pradeep
"hey heloos....m fine......wat bout u ??" replied tulika........
"hey guess what!!!!! my mentor has taken leave for 5 days......i wudnt have asked for nything better than this....." said pradeep with a tone which was no less than the opening note of an opera where the fat lady yoodles at the onset......
"hey cool man....u r lucky.......u kno something ???"
"what"???
"what does an intern means????"
"no yaar...i mean ya someone who is on probation????"
"not exactly....i was like surprised when i was going through word web one day searching for the meaning of intern....and i was like ROFL when i saw it meant "a person whose freedom has been curbed".......seriously pradeep dont u think even the people who made the dictionary knew what the word intern shud mean... hats off to their sagaciousness.......was that some sort off deja vu which they had.......surprising no......"said tulika..
"totally yaar.....these people have totally chained us"mumbled pradeep....
pradeep gets up and facing tulika starts giving a discourse.......
to an extent for someone like me i feel as if my creative liberty is being smothered sometimes.you know what that is the basic problem when you work under someone.as a general scenario what i feel is say i have 5 probable ways to attack a problem..now a person under whom i am working can by virtue of experience eliminate 3 ways and choose the best 2,which he thinks fits the situation....but for some tyro who has jus set his feet on the so called "altar"of professionalism he will have to try all the 5 only then he can solve it convincingly.....but then they dont give you the goddamnit time to learn it...or if i say so "U ARE IN A SENSE EARNING NOT LEARNING"...so that defeats the whole purpose.....

"i totally endorse your view but then pradeep,one should know how to prioritize "learning and earning together"..you kno what i mean...this is called professionalism dear...wherin you know how to prioritize your schedule so that you can learn while you can earn ,while meeting deadlines for delieverables if you have any...rite pradeep????"interrupts tuilika....
"ya tulika agree...but then like a toddler who needs a helping hand to walk they should also give us the support...in our context time....dont you think so???"
"ya dude...but then you know at times even they are helpless...you know its a vicious chain of agonies which keep on piling as this hiearchical mode of work makes everyone answerable to the person above them..so even they cant help...i sympathesize with them"smiled tulika with a concern which was genuine enough to invite pradeeps latent wrath.......

human emotions demystified...

human emotions a difficult subject to write for a fledgling writer like me and belonging to the breed of writers who does not believe in "throwing in the towel" i want to take a chance and its up to you to decide how succesful i am.
to begin with we can divide our life majorly into two halves fear and love..jus like we have the negative and positive part of the number line we have fear occupying the negative end of the spectrum and love occupying the positive end of the spectrum....any human emotions can be classified as either belonging to these extremities or lying somewhere in between...
for ex take the case of a kid who has his maths class test lurking in the horizon and he has not yet prepared as he went on procrastinating his study schedule which resulted into him resorting to cheating on the exam day ....what do you call that?????
"fear...yeah..."
to further my point, its a strange phenomenon which happens with everyone called cognitive dissonance in psychological parlance wherein the mind learns cognitively what is correct and what should be done(in this case the feeling in the child not to cheat) but then still it does something exactly antithetical to what it has learnt....to corroborate further take the case of a soldier who before going for a war knows that its wrong to kill people but that doesnt deters him from killing his adversaries....you can still label that as fear ..fear of surviving from the enemy's bullet which can blowup his body into smitheerens at the drop of the hat......

now talking about the other extreme called"love" i would like to expatiate on "love "as a feeling first .......and i am getting goosebumps at this thought only which has just flashed through my mental plate...lets take one perspective first ....Is it the fear of getting "rejected"?is it the fear of being "alone"?or has it to do with "fear"of failing .....all three q's blatantly point to fear as the driving force for "love"....little disturbing ..i guess...
let me veer around and come out of my semi torpor and take another perspective ....love as a feeling which came first which engendered fear.... and not the other way out...........sounds incongrous but justwatch people and world around and you will realise that this is not just my figment of imagination.......ask a survivor of a terrorist attack and jus observe the subtle yet pronounced changes(in a way or the other)which has happened in his life post that phase...see his care ...see his love for things as nondescript as his personal possesion or his renewed love for persons who are valuable to him....a fallback of fear you may say....but if you look the other way around its the gnawing fear of loosing the loved ones.....serendipious,isnt it???????
still unsatisfied ...let me go further ...you love someone at the first place and then dread(read fear)the occurence of any act from your part which will make him love you less......huh..........a big conundrum..........
ohkk ..lets totally digress and see how does this sound??i assume that our life cycle is not a strictly monotonic curve take ax^2+bx+c ...as a general curve which mimiques our lifes trajectory(not neccesarily true).....now suppose the discriminant is greater than zero and it has two real roots (ya i am talking about a real situation )....and the parabola cuts the life axis....the two positive roots(distinct....so you can very clearly notice that assuming yourself to be sliding along the curve from the leftupward portion you will strangely realise that you when you are at the top there is a persistent "fear"of falling down....once you are sailing along the plateau there are gamut of human emotions which sometimes are a chimera of sorts and instill desire to consolidate in your mind..yes i have to maintain this position of mine and you start tweaking with it a little bit and voila here you are on an upward trajectory wherein you inadvertantly "give" love and "want love".....sounds intriguing...yes it is....
so,again the crux of the discussion is who is the controller of all this????is it on its own......???no my friends it is the eternal battle between the "id"and the "superego" which is in turn controlled by our "ego"..........its the outcome of this battle which decides who wins and what emotions govern a human mind...........suggestions welcome.............

demurrings of an internee.....(updated till scene 4)

DISCLAIMER::any resemblance to a person living or dead is purely coincidental and is not at all intended by me.
SCENE 1::::::::::::::

"this is your cubicle and your system , make sure that by today evening you get all your things in the place " said shankara to his mentee pradeep in a jovial manner.(poor pradeep would not have even fathomed in his wildest dream that this could be the precursor of an impending storm brewing in the cup)

"yes shankara sir, i will make sure that by evening i will fix everything and feel at home"chipped back the complaisant lad...(totally unaware of the flexi policy the companies have introduced these days wherein you can work even from home and in doing so,it will be hard to figure out whether you are in the office or at home..hats off to the astuteness of the people sitting at the higher echeleons of the corporate ladder who have devised such an ingenious(read inhumane)way of increasing productivity.)

"now don call me sir,call me shanky...i am your buddy pradeep"
"yes shanky"

"so how are you finding this place? made any friends..?"

"not really,right now my focus would be to understand what would be the nature of work i will be doing and understand the nitty-gritties of the niche domain wherein i will be working"(wake up dude ,you are not giving an interview man..you are giving an impression that you are one of those breeds whose sole aim in the life is to to "work- hard"which is very unlike today's youth who "hardly-work" and are firm believer in the maxim "ignoramus et ignorabimus" meaning "we do not know and will not know")

"ya good man, i like your attitude.you will go miles.i will make you an expert in few months"shanky said in a reassuring manner....
(with a sly smile and look which will give a butcher sharpening his knife to tear the innocent animal, a run for the money )


SCENE 2::::::::pradeep is finally fully ensconsed in his cubicle and met his team mates...
"hey hi ...this is pradeep.... "
"hellos,this is nikhil.....how you doing?"...said nikhil....
"hey today is my first day at the office....."
"same here bro"....[he also joined as an internee the same day]
"man,did u noticed that hot chic adjacent to our cubicle??"(nikhil said sheepishly....)
"cmn man ..lemme put my hair down first and then i will start goofing around....."
"dude that chick is in our team only....and the nice part is she is not one of those how-dare-you-look-at-me kinda chick.....i can smell pheromones emanating from her....lets go and meet her.."
"cool man ..but i have some work to do....you move, i will swing by her cubicle in no time"....said pradeep......
"your wish man"..
"hey hi ....this is nikhil...."
"hello(ahem ..ahem...)....this is tulika"...
"fresher,rite?"
"ya first day in office"
"had your things fixed??"quizzed nikhil......
"yeah almost"
(huh.....started hitting on me straight on....i don understand why they pretend to be samaritans upon seeing any beautiful girl....this freaks me out........)
pradeep joins....
"hey hi myself pradeep......(looking sideways....dumbass din't even had the guts to see her eyes directly).....
"hello...ya nikhil told me about you"
"why dont we guys have our lunch together????the food looks awsum and the cafeteria will be a good place to eat and talk ........what do you say guys??"(ya happens with every internee......at the onset the food looks phenomenal but as time passes even the mere mention of offices "food" ruffles everyones feathers....)
yeah for sure.....(seconded pradeep.......)



SCENE 3::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"hey pradeep attend the IFUN classes(name given to the training for new hires which has everything sans fun)and get me the simulation results by evening"said shanky the mentor to pradeep.
"ya shanky,i will make it a point to finish my task by evening"nods pradeep....
scene shifts to nikhil and tulika's cubicle as pradeep left for the IFUN training..
"hey tuli,(huh sounds endearing)wat are you doing in the evening?may be we can make oops move out to barista and have our share of fun there?wat do u say??"said nikhil.....
"sure,but then for that i need to complete my work by evening...."sighed tulika....
"hey meanwhile can you teach me how to play foosball?said tulika like a kid showing the earnestness symbolic of that age......
"sure....(as if he were some pro in foosball...but then there is no denying the fact that boys do have a flair for games....which reminds me of the match where i defeated two girls single handedly in a cliffhanger where until the last shot the fate of the match was swinging like an euphoric pendulum bob which wants to break free from the tension imposed by the the goddamnit string and behaves violently)
the scene shifts to foosball room...
"hey you should hit the ball like this"
"nahi ho raha hai...".(as if she has to shove a baby out of her vag....apologies for the gross reference)..
"hey its no rocket science...its simple as soon as the ball comes near your stick you have to hit it to impart it a momentum so that the locus which it traces should land it in oppositions goal...see here it goes.....bang........"....high 5 claspings all around..
"yippie ,yippie.........goal...."(ohh this girlie excitement and tantrums ...makes me contemplate whether darwins theory of evolution had a fundamental flaw that girls where excluded from the evolutionary stages which distinguishes us homo sapiens(read man) from the homonids...(the general ape family))..........
"so you liked it..didn't you?"
"ya totally..it's indeed an amusing sport"said tulika......
"hey lets go .....I have to run an errand.... "
both leave for their cubicle....


SCENE 4::::::::::::::::::::
"hey guys ...where where you?tulika your mentor was searching for you..."said pradeep
"ya i havent even met my mentor once..i was supposed to meet him at 0200 hrs in the conference room( the vanishing point....what an irony they have named the conference room for meeting purposes as vanishing point..pity on their creativity)..i will leave guys"said tulika
........
(in tulika's room)"hey hello thulikhaa...i am your mentoraaa* S.bandaru....... you can call me bandaru"said her mentor vigorously nodding his head laterally....
"ohh sure bandar..i mean bandaru......."said tulika sarcastically,with bandaru totally unaware of the sarcasm....
(before delving into the engaging conservation that ensued let me delineate the appearence of bandaru...he was one of those staunchly southindian fella whose forehead was smeared with white colour and who if given the permission to flout office dress code rule, would not at all hesitate to wear a "lungi"aayeoooo..........and another striking feature in his personality was his "vernacular accent"...remember mentoraaa......the southindians have this habbit of adding the letter "aaa" after every goddamnit word..and this is a habbit which pervades one and all even the learned ones to the naivetes which is insanely irritating ....ohkk.....not veering much and retuning to the conversation...)

"SO I HAVE ARRANGED A MEETINGaaa FOR YOU WITH HARIaaa ,HE WILL GIVE YOU IDEA OF OUR PRODUCT PORTFOLIOaaa AND TOOLSaaa WHICH WE USE AND FROM TOMORROW YOU WILL HAVE TO GET INTO THE THICK OF THINGSaaaa "(jesus christ was he speaking with capslock button switched"on") bandaru said......
"sure i will make it a point to attend it and will get back to you "replied tulika
meanwhile pradeep was being explained some work by his mentor shanky.....
"you should always try to debug like this ....it is advisable"said shanky..
"yeah ...but then i have to learn how does it works"
"you will learn it man...dont panic....you can ask me for help whenever you need any...."fine said shanky....
after some time pradeep pings his mentor on the intranet communicator used for chatting within the office "shanky i am unable to fix the bug ..there is some issue i guess....can you please check??"
"i can see everything ..."replies shanky (sitting from his desk using remote desktop connection which allows anybody to access anyones laptop using just the user name and passsword and thus in a way showing the benefits(read perils) of networking)
huh......as if he were some god who can see what i am doing at my desktop...the perils of networking...goddamnit.....said pradeep to himself...
"ya man..what is the problem?i asked you can you do it and you said yes and now you are asking me to fix it???"asked shanky in a unpleasent tone....
"yeah it was working when you where here...i don know what has happened out of the blue"
"what man....wait lemme come to your cubicle"
"awcmnnnn.....man that is simple just log from a different shell and give your id and then telnet the router to see whether its working or not??said shanky....
"you shouldnt ask these things man...you are supposed to do it yourselves...."
"but then you only told me to ask for your help when needed,rite??"said pradeep in an apologetic tone....
"yes but then i want you to solve your problems on your own ...take your time...if you will rack your brain to figure out a solution you will learn more instead of me spoonfeeding you....you are no longer in college...you have to accept this fact....whats your background?"remarked shanky in a haughty manner....( yes poor pradeep was not used to such a treatment as he used to be cynosure of every teacher's eyes in his electronic circuits and wireless communiaction class....aahhh...time is a great leveller.......strange are the ways of the world or to rephrase it the travesties of life wherein you have to be game enough to receive the brickbats and the bouquet as well in a sporting manner...)
"i am from electronics"said pradeep like a victim about to be bludgeoned to death and yearning for sympathy ....
"k man....i can understand that things are a bit difficult initially ,but slowly you will learn...."smiled shanky....
"ya man..."
"hey what is that on your desktop"asked shanky
"ohh that ya i am actually a big helen hunt fan...so its her one of her vintage pics...which i have put on my desktop"said pradeep in a blushing manner.....
"anyways what kinda movies you like pradeep??"
"shanky basically i am fond of content based movies ....you know....something which makes you think..like sorcese or spielberg stuff...you know...what i mean!!!!....anyways chuck that, what kinda movies you watch shanky??"asked pradeep
"me???ya i liked the "DRAKULA"SERIES(ahh.... now the pieces of zigsaw puzzle are falling at the right place....now i figured out why poor pradeep was having such a hard time in the company...)a lot ..i watched the entire series man......it treats the venerable blood sucker as some romantic gothic hero....i liked the treatment man...."chirped shanky like a young lad in love who just had his first kiss and upon interrogation(read coercion)by his friends was sharing the memories.....
"cool man"said pradeep in a resilient tone after coming in terms with this eye-opener....(as if someone has just sucked everything((read blood)) from his body...scary...indeed........
"k man i will leave now....will see you tomoro in the morning...come early man...."said shanky
"ya man....i will for sure"
( jus for the knowledge of the readers pradeep was clocking 10 hrs a day at his workplace for the record......)

weekends..a fast catching phenomena

finally the much awaited weekend has come,yes 3 days in a row(gods must be crazy)and the sad part is that its already halfway through....the ironical part of weekends is that by the time you come in the mood...(yeah ,its the lassitude and unavoidable languor which the weekend instills)its gone and monday comes mocking at you..and being a true believer in the credo that "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"i would jus like to say that the concept of "weekend "in essence is something which the indians where unfamiliar with uninitially but slowly the concept is catching up with one and all...for example to begin with, let me quote various perspective which people have about weekends...
i give the honours first to my "kaamwaali" who gets so euphoric upon even the mere mention of sunday(ya for them its a relatively shorter one day but still)....but for us(the working lot)its like our condition gets exacerbated all of a sudden on that particular holiday which surfaces like a hydra headed monster , once you face harsh realities in the form of unwashed utensils deriding you ,the ohhhh--soooo clean mosaic of our living rooms reminding you that you walk on them on your own risk and the unkempt(i don know a word better than that to describe our clothes)clothes which metamorphose into a "dusting cloth"in want of "safai...." in the absence of "kaam waali"......

secondly ,i would like to expatiate about my concept of weekends which essentially begins with sleeping and ends with sleeping...(i am getting a a barbaric yawn ahhhhhhhhhh.......even while writing)....frankly speaking i am not one of those wanderlust kind who thinks that weekends are meant not to stay at home...call it my letharginess or whatever, but for me getting a good sleep is something akin to a holiday package in "elysium"...its such a rejuvenating experience that it finetunes your body for the gruelling week ahead............and to talk about weekends without mentioning about another of my endearing passions would be an unpardonable offense which i dont want to commit......yes watching good movies gives me my required dose of "KICKS"which fills in void(read dullness)created by merely sleeping like a log of wood......anyways this weekend i watched another "phenomenal "movie called "the curious case of benjamin button"which indeed satiated my optical buds(i dont know if their exists any),fulfilled my desire of being a intelligent viewer of an intellactually stimulating movies and above all made me mull over the fact that when will the day come when our indian directors will make a sensible movie and i will for sure ,go on a chest thumping spree, giving an eye for eye to everyone who have been criticizing hindi movies from time immemorial........so that in essence gives you the delineated version of my concept of weekends....ohh i forget to mention one of the recent things i have learned in bangalore,that is ,cooking and trust me friends now i can say with my head held high that "mai apney pairo pey kahda hun literally ".....learning cooking was indeed an eye opener in many ways ..first and foremeost it made me realise how my mother toiled hard all day to prepare gustatory delights for us and like a true cynic(read connoissuer)i used to dish out every word of praise for food with extreme frugality and precision so that she shouldnt be complacent (see how thoughtful i was)......talking about another eyeopeners was instilling in me the confidence that yes" i can make a difference"(remember together we can and we will of sohaib illiyasi of india's most wanted fame)albeit in small measures .....and most importantly the belief that boys no longer need to depend upon girls ...now thats what i call "QUASI male empowerment"(never heard off......) which is a beffiting reply to a female chauvinist who once said that "we(women) don't need men"...young lady we also don believe in mincing words..we mean it.........so that in a nutshell sums it all about weekends a rapidally catching phenomena....
knock knock..who is there???another weekend knocking at the doorsteps...........

soliloquy

ahh...finally the much awaited day has arrived....phase 2 begins..if i look back in hindsight it seems that my deed-o-meter(never heard of it...yes,thats a new term coined by me which shows the relative statistical average of good and bad deeds a person has committed) is overwhelmingly in favour of the wrongdoings committed by me...i wont delve into that dark world of MY wrongdoings(as if i were some DON CORLEONE)i would be more than glad to make you acquainted with the 3 remarkable things(unlike the 3 mistakes of my life of chetan bhagat fame)i have taken from my life::

1)got a good jumpstart in my career inspite of my lackadaisical(pertaining more with the lack of determination)attitude...

2)got some real gud friends whom i can count on, wen i need dem...

3)being at the recieving end of the lotsa love from my kith and kins!!

as the cliche goes "life moves on ",so here i am right now starting afresh ...yes the name phase2 aptly suits it because for me starting a professional life is a feeling too overwhelming that can be felt but can't be written in entities such as words...honestly ,my myths about this world were too few to be shattered..ya to start with i have to acknowledge this fact that life as a student was very different..(i am not using" easy" to obviate the ire of people who eulogize it and are all gung-ho about it)it was all about procrastinations,b******** (to quote our lingo),doing everything except studying and still cribbing that i have to study this and that..,hitting on every other hot chick(not at all a sign of maturity...who cares..)and blah and blah....and now suddenly standing on the cusp of the professional world indeed, a paradigm shift::

To rephrase darwin " nature(read society) chooses those animals(read humans) who have best suited genes to survive in this draconian world where the struggle for existence(where everyone is pulling each others legs)is intense and so demanding"

it intrigues me and makes me think that whether i am ill equipped to tackle the so famed "ways"of the world ??whether i have some chinks in my armour?? or is it a kind of insecurity which transcends people of all ages (even the most astute to the dumbest morons alive).....and i am not the odd one out....whatever be the reason i am all braced to face it and not get "cheesed"off(to quote one of my office mates who inspired me to write blog...huh...my blog "IDOL").....